I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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