I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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