SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
