So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
