but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
