Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
