ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
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She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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