Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
