the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
