i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You work out of a Hotel?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
