How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
