just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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