she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
