I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
