I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
