how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
