True but thats because hes a fetus.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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