You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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