There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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