His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
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we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
how drunk are you?
Several
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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