So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
