I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
