he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
