he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
