i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
