last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
as a side note pls kill me
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
