I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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