You work out of a Hotel?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
