In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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