glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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