Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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