last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
