sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
