don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
