sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
