Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
