i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
