Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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