Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I have fence marks all over my body
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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