I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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