My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize