were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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