yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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