id be glad to
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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