9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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