Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
