paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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