I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
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