and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
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He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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