shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's