Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line