I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!