just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Rumble strips road head = magical
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs