Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
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no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
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He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz