That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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