Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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