Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
