he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
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God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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