Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize