Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
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I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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