Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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