i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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