I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
