he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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